Valen Dreth's Joke on the New Inmates
by ian904
Summary: A sort of back story on Valen Dreth that explains why he was killed. one shot Not a DB fan fic I swear. :


Author's Notes: This is my first ff so please be extremely critical :) I know I cut off some of Valtieri"s dialogue, but i didn't want to focus on the assassin at all. I know Vanin never mentioned any relatives, but he was the only old imperial I could think of. lso sorry about my habit of referring to people by their last name. I tried to keep spelling as good as possible.

A Joke on the New Inmates:

Valen Dreth's Joke

**The Imperial City Prison, Rain's Hand 3, 3E432**

"It was really rather funny," Dreth thought

Recently it had gotten rather boring in the old Imperial City Prison, so he had decided to mess with the new inmates.

"Wake up, kitty kitty. That's it. There's a rat in my cell, Khajiit. A fat, tasty rat. Does the kitty want it? Is the kitty hungry? You'd better take whatever you can get in here, Khajiit. They don't feed the new prisoners. Didn't you know that? First they starve you. Then they beat you. Then, if you're lucky, they kill you. That's right. You're going to die in here!" He said

In his spare time he had thought of something positively evil to say to someone of every race and gender.

"Oh, look, an Imperial in the Imperial Prison. I guess they don't play favorites, huh? Your own kinsmen think you're a piece of human trash. How sad. I bet the guards give you "special" treatment before the end. Oh, that's right. You're going to die in here, Imperial! You're going to die! Imperial criminal scum like you give the Empire a bad name, you see. You're an embarrassment. Best if you just... disappeared."

He was sure they thought he was the worst person alive, and it was too much fun to tell them otherwise.

Truth be told, he was actually a pretty good guy. The only reason he had been imprisoned for over eleven years was because Adamus Phillida had caught him with his wife, if you know what I mean.

Well all in all things seemed to circle the drain pretty quickly after that. His wife, rather than being taken for a whore decided to accuse him of certain things he most certainly didn't do.

It had been a very close call for Dreth all things considered, but he would take twelve years of gruel over death any day.

So what if he was being a little tough, it wasn't like he meant any of it.

"Hey! Wood Elf! You're a little far from the forest, huh? Looks like your days of woodland frolicking have come to a tragic end. To go from the gladed realm of Valenwood to a rat-infested hole like this... how very sad. Those walls must feel like they're closing in on you. Pretty soon you'll go mad, and the guards will cut your throat just to stop the ranting. That's right. You're going to die in here, Wood Elf! Die!"

And he was almost positive there would be no repercussions...

**The Cheydinhal Sanctuary, Later that day.**

"Back for more? It just so happens I have another contract available, one that requires an expert in infiltration." Vincente Valtieri said to his young student.

"Of course, I will gladly accept."

"As always you fail to disappoint me. Your target is a Dark Elf named Valen Dreth. He thinks he's safe in prison. He is tragically mistaken."

**The Imperial City Prison, Rain's Hand 5, 3E432**

"Hey, lizard! It must break your heart, huh? Being so close to the water, knowing you'll never get to swim again... You know, sometimes, when they let us in the yard, you can hear the sounds from the lake. The boats, the gulls. So close... No, you'll never get to swim again, Argonian. But don't worry, you'll be dead soon enough. That's right. You're going to die in here!"

Dreth just didn't get it. In five days there had been four different prisoners in that same cell. What were people doing these days to be thrown in prison for hours and not days?

Why there would probably even be another person in there by the time he woke up.

Dreth awoke feeling a pain in his ribs and an Imperial in dark armor hovering over him.

"Wake up, you fetching Dunmer," he said "I've got a message that someone payed me a lot of money to give you." and gave Dreth a scroll

Dear Valen Dreth,

My granddaughter recently had the pleasure to occupy a cell next to you. You may remember her as the piece of "Human Trash". Well as I am quite wealthy I was able to buy her way out of prison as well as anyone else unfortunate enough to have a cell next to yours. I learned your name when she told me of her stay in the prison and vowed to get my revenge for making her stay so unbearable. You are probably not aware of the amount of septims it took to ensure the guards let the messenger in, and ensure no prisoners were watching, although I daresay they would have enjoyed the show. So Dreth, it seems your life isn't exactly worthless after all. I was extremely particular in how the Dark Brotherhood should... execute this contract. I hope you can finish this before the poisoned knife in your side takes effect.

Sincerely Yours,

Ontus Vanin


End file.
